Thoughts on MWaP
June 13th, 2010 by Carol
So, this evening, I’ll be presenting my sixth episode of MadWoman at Play, and I’ve been pondering the whole process.
It’s more difficult than I had imagined to do this show without an audience (or at least, something to respond to) in the room. I remain committed to its unscripted nature, but I’m growing more aware with every show how much I thrive on a sense of response and exchange with others. This is exactly the thing I’ve been wanting to know about myself. Its’ not as if I had no consciousness of this aspect of my own being, but the depth of it, and the precise qualities of it are growing clearer to me with each episode.
I have moments when I think: “Is it fair for me to experiment on an audience in this way? Drag them into my discovery process?” — then I remember that they are free to “change the channel” at any moment, and leave their involvement to them.
Early yesterday morning, our friend Laura drove off for Santa Barbara. We stood on the drive and waved her out of sight (a tradition in both my and my Beloved’s families). Here, too, I am noticing what I experienced of her through her absence, as I have been with Open Circle and the Podcasts that we’ve been doing for years but have suspended for this month.
I’m reading Brenda Uelands “If You Want to Write” (on the recommendation of my Beloved), and it’s a perfect book for me at this time. She advocates for writing only from the truth, which is a big theme for me this month — refining my connection and channeling of my own truth.
I wonder what will happen today?